No, not that kind of butterfly... I am talking about the ones that live in the pit of my stomach, making me extremely nervous....
Referrals came out today and CCAA matched up to February 28. For you Leap Year afficionados, that means February 2006 is DONE and next month CCAA will be starting on March 2006 LIDS...did you get that? MARCH!!!!!

There is a website that calculates when you will get a referral based on how many LID's CCAA is matching a month and what your LID is.

Ours is well, you know, just look above this post silly...based on today's number of referrals our referral is expected (I try not to expect TOO much) to come in May...


That's five months away, people! So it appears we will be traveling in late June, early July.....All I can say is WOW, am I really going to become a mom after all this time??????

Well this is based on if CCAA continues matching as they have. If they do more days, it will be sooner....YAY!!!! If they do less days, it will take longer....BOOOOO!

(I know that the blog is now green. I am so tired of the pink, but now it's ALL green. Don't know if I like it yet, but I am so not techie and I don't know how to create what I want, bleh....
Even though this year was filled with hard times and sadness, I feel like there is still so much to be thankful for.
This time next year, we will have Mia with us and I know that my mom is watching over her until we can bring Mia home.
I hope Mia is somewhere safe, has enough to eat and has someone to give her love on this Christmas day.
Daddy and I love you Mia. We'll be together soon!

As of today, CCAA has matched up to February 23rd 2006. That puts us at 28 log in days before they get to our log in date of 3/24/06. Umm, that seems so close, but I KNOW that it will take CCAA months to get there. *sigh* I wont be to sad though, it is getting closer and closer, that is so exciting!
Just checking in, nothing really new to report. The journey to Mia contiues on, though we expect to receive our referral within 6 months or so. Let the count down begin!!! Seems odd to be so close, after all this time. What really is blowing my mind and makes me more than a little sad, is that Mia has already suffered a huge loss in her life. It has occurred to me, more than once, that for me to become a mom to Mia, is for Mia to lose the most important person in her life. It makes me sad for her, but maybe we can help each other thru it, since I have lost my mom too...
I haven't posted in a while, I know. I hope anyone who reads this blog would understand.... mother passed away on October 31st. The months preceeding that, were spent in daily visits to the hospital, surgeries and praying for a miracle. Then, when the doctors could do no more for her, the days were spent caring for her at home until it was time for her to go...

She passed peacefully and with all seven of her children by her side. Her husband of 42 years, my dad, holding her hand, whispering to her how it was ok to go and how much he loved her, will be forever etched on my heart... I miss her so much...if I could just hold her hand and see her more time...

My heart aches because I know that she never got the chance to see me bring my daughter home, she wanted that so much...but I vow my daughter will know my mother's smile, will know of the great love she had for her, even though she never go to meet her...

My family is devastated, but we go on. My father is heartbroken, but he takes it one day at a time...I didn't think I would be able to write about this, to express how I am feeling, but if I could make just one person see what a wonderful and wise woman she was, how she lived for her children, the joy she had seeing her grandchildren and great-granchildren be part of her world, well it eases the pain...just a little...

I miss you, mum, more than you could possibly know....
So sorry about that. With getting ready for vacation, going on vacation, being sick, my mom being in the hospital again, well it's been a crazy few weeks.

CCAA match 9 lID days this month, which is good, because 9 days is 9 days. What would really be cool, is if they do the same or more next month.

This journey has gone on so long, with so many ups and downs. It'll be 30 months of waiting on the 24th(my birthday) and I'll be 40. I has so hoped to have Mia home by then. Something about turning 40 and not having her here, I die a little inside. I am SO ready, SO SO ready.
Ok, well you might be thinking "Hey, that's pretty good!!" and it is...sort of...

See, because of Chinese New Year, there most likely are no famlies logged in between 1/28 and 1/31, so sneaky CCAA!! lol. Well anyway, it's six days ticked off the calendar, so we'll take it. Rich says if they do six days a month, then we'll have our referral in 8 months. I can handle that!!

Sneak preview of the unfinished nursery......

Stunning, Hauntingly Beautiful, Stirring, Powerful ....I could go on, but these were just some of the thoughts and feelings that were evoked in me during the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing..I have never seen anything like it..China should be proud! What an awesome accomplishment. Yes, China has it's problems and it's human rights issue, but you have to give them their due and their time in the spotlight.

It was bittersweet as well. In the faces of the performers, I saw the face of my future daughter and it moved me to tears. It reasonated deeply in me, that she will grow up in America, but I will make sure she is proud of her heritage, as I will be so proud and honored to be her mother....

*oh and CCAA only did two days worth of LID's this month..bugger...*
CCAA only matched up to 1/25/06, since the 21st and the 22nd were on a weekend, that means they really only did 3 days. Hmmph!

So there's this site called where you can put in your Log in Date and it will give you your "expected" referral date...I put ours in and it said....

Our prediction for LID 2006-03-24
China has 58 days of dossiers to be processed before they get to your dossier. China currently processes about 6 days of dossiers each month.

Our best guess: 2009-05-05

Since China generally sends out referrals in a batch about once per month, your referral date could easily vary +/- one month depending on whether you just get included or just get missed in a particular batch.

Ok, so that is not SO bad, but dang it, any more months like this one and our referral time will start pushing into summer. It will push us over the 3 year mark, ugh!!

You know, I really look forward to the time when I can post without 8&*^(&ing about how many days CCAA has matched, sheesh!
Yesterday was our 27th month of waiting for our referral. Ok, so we think we are about 10 months away from referral. A mere drop in the bucket of time, compared to how long we have waited so far, hah! So that means, we could be in China,by this time next year. Ummm, why after waiting this long, do I feel so unprepared for that, lol.
That January 22 '06 is the cut off for this month. 10 days of referrals, well that's not to shabby, but I do not think that it is going to be an ongoing trend. We've seen it before, where CCAA does an increased number of days on month, only to fall back to 3-5 days the next month. Hey, they are closer to our LID date and that is 10 log in dates closer to our Mia!

I have a couple of pictures of the paint color we chose for Mia's room. One is at night, one is during the day. Even though the color is a light Lavender, it doesn't look pink does it? Well anyway, it looks so much prettier in person, I can't wait to start putting it all together. That big hulking think covered with the sheet is the crib. We put it up over two years ago, when we found out what our log in date was, when we "thought" we would be receiving our referral in about 7 to 9 months, hahahaha!

For two of the walls I was thinking of putting these removable wall decals, but I don't want it to look too busy. I have some flower stencils that I bought too.

Ugh!! Why is it so hard for me to make a decision!
'06 of course...

That's the rumor about how far CCAA has matched families logged in on with babies. Last month, CCAA got to January 12th, so IF this rumor is true, CCAA will have done 10 days worth of referrals. Terrible? No...Fantastic?...I'll take what I can get. We'll see what Monday brings...That's when referrals are expected to arrive.

We've started painting the nursery. I absolutely LOVE the color, it's a soft shade of Lavender. I am have trouble on getting ideas for decorating. I have no clue on what to do..I am afraid whatever I attempt to do, will look like crap, lol.
*Edited 5/23/08; the toll is now closer to 62,664 and *still* expected to climb...unimaginable :( *

I am referring to the recent earthquake in China. Those poor people, families and children, I can't even imagine what they are going thru. Imagine losing everything you hold near and dear, losing family members, in some cases entire families are gone. Schools collapsing on helpless's all so terrible... the loss of life, the heartache of losing a loved one.
I guess what I want to say, is that everything you have or know to be real, can be taken from you in an instant. So, take the time to tell your family you love them, take time to appreciate and be thankful for all that you have.
Rumors are starting to come in saying the cut off is January 12th. Last month the cutoff date was January 9th, so if you are saying that would only mean 3 days worth of LID"s you would be right on the money. Not that this is not terribly discouraging, but considering that the 12 is rumored to be a big LID day, then it is not surprising either.

As the Olympics in Beijing China draw closer, I would expect that we continue to see small batches leading up to the Olympics and possibly see no referrals for the month of August or a very small batch. I am preparing myself now, because China does NOT want to have a huge AI profile during the Olympics and they have been doing a lot in the previous months (at least in our eyes) to keep it looking that way. (i.e. small batches)

On a more positive note, I am going to start on Mia's room this spring. I need to do something, not only to keep me sane, but something to make me feel close to her. I still haven decided on a color for her room. I am thinking a light shade of lavender and doing a stenciled boarder of butterflies and flowers. Starting to get excited about it, whoo hooo!
We have been looking at furniture to put in the room, we already have the crib, so we need a dresser/changing table and a book case. I also want to get a small table and chairs for her to sit and color or whatever.
gotta just roll with the punches sometimes...

Referrals are starting to come in and it appears that the cut-off for this month is January 9th. That means 5 days worth of LID's were matched. The only good thing about it, is that at least it brings me a little closer to referral and I do mean
"a little".
I just realized how tired I am. I mean, I WANT to be excited about how this could our year to get our referral, it also could not be. It's hard to get excited about uncertainty.

Two year....Two YEARS, we have been waiting. Good God, I know it will happen, I KNOW this, but right now, at this moment, I am just tired.

I'll be excited tomorrow......

Why? you ask...because CCAA has FINALLY finished all of 2005 and now they are into 2006. They sent referrals for families with log in dates of 12/28/05 thru 1/04/06,, Only 78 log in dates till they get to 3/24/06!! We could get our referral anytime between November of this year, thru March of next year.

Is that a light at the end of the tunnel or a train :)
Kim, our referral contact from Great Wall China Adoptions, called to see how we were doing. I said we were doing ok, but last year was really hard for us, with the wait and all. She said, that CCAA has about 120 families a month, withdrawing from the program. Kim said she doesn't know if that will affect "us", since we are so close to referral. Did I really say "close"?? I guess having a year to go, IS getting close in the China adoption world. Hah! She did stress though, that China's IA program is in no threat closing down, so that's a good thing! Kim also said that, she has had a lot of March '06 families withdrawal as well. Knowing that March '06 is a big month, it makes me wonder if that will impact us. Kim did say that we "should" have a referral by the end of the year and travel sometime in early '09. Rich doesn't believe it, but I think only time will tell. I do think that we are closer now, rather than farther away, I could also be delusional.
If what she said, is true, I can only hope this year goes fast!! Heck, it's already the end of February!
CCAA managed to do 9 days of referrals. While it is an increase, there is nothing to say that it will be the same next month. For the past two years, CCAA has sent in very small batches around Chineses New Years, about 3 days worth. So, while I am pretty happy about the nine days (Ha! never thought I'd say THAT), I know that CCAA can bring the hammer down next month.
I am happy for the families that go referrals, for it means, that some sweet little girl or boy has found their forever family!
Why the picture? I just thought it was pretty!
CCAA updated their website, the cutoff IS the 19th. 5 stinky days of LIDS matched...Ugh!
of the current cut-off rumor for LID's

People are reporting that families with a 12-19-05 LID's are getting referrals, no reports of LID's after that receiving them. Although, there is a someone on the Yahoo China Adoption group that I belong to, that states someone from their agency with a
12-26-05 log in date, received a referral. At this point, there is no official cut-off date, just what adoptive parents are reporting. Rumor Queen has not posted anything yet and the CCAA website has not been updated. If the 19th is true, then that is 5 days of LID's matched, one day less that last month. ICK!