A Far Away Child Comes Home, The Journey to Mia.

Seriously....

2011-12-09T23:49:00.006-05:00

...been along huge long time since I have posted, but then you already know that....Time seems to go by at the blink of an eye these day...Mia is almost three...THREE!!!! I can hardly believe it.

Parenting is hard...HARD work I tell you...but it also the most rewarding thing ever...Mia is the most sweetest baby(I cant even call her that anymore whaaaa!) and the most demanding, opinionated, stubborn, cutest, loving, cranky and so not the morning baby (there I go again..) I think I am in denial that she is growing up right before my eyes...I am so proud of all she has accomplished but so sad to see the baby years go...she really is growing up into a little(big)girl now..

Some recent pics..

Hard to believe that she has grown up from this precious little baby

To my precious little girl

My Wings!

Meow..

Daddy's princess.

A year "Really?"

2010-10-25T11:22:00.010-04:00

It is so hard to believe that a year has passed to the day, since Mia was place in our arms. She has changed so much, heck, Rich and I have changed so much....I can't imagine our life without her now...You know, when you go into this parenthood thing, you go in with all kinds of expectations of what kind of parent you are going to be. I was no exception to this rule, but I realized it doesn't matter what parent you thought you would be, as long as you are the parent she needs you to be. Some days I get it right, some days I get it horrendously wrong, but I hope I am growing in that aspect every day. I love how being Mia's mom, makes me WANT to grow, to change and be a better mom, a better person. Amazing how one tiny human can make such a difference..and here I thought that I was going to be the one helping HER to grow up, lol.

I would like to take this time to thank everyone for their support this past year, not only when waiting for our referral, for travel and such, but for just being there...It is true, "it takes a whole village to raise a child", I could not have done it without my family and friends, cyber friends included!

Here are some pics of Mia, as she was then and as she is now....a miracle!

Then...

Now....

The first time ever I saw your face.....

2010-08-21T20:40:00.005-04:00

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the end of the skies.......

This day was only to be surpassed by the day we held you in our arms for the first time. We love you so much!

A few side comments:

Leigh...that thing you emailed me about sending you. I haven't forgot about it, I will be sending it this week, I promise!!

Deb...I am such a sucky friend, I just read the email you sent about Eliza. I am so sorry, just so damned sorry. Many hugs to you and your family....

And for the person who is posting their pervy links on my blog, please stop. It is so uncool! I would hate to have to moderate each comment or take the blog down.....but I will, if forced too

Knock, Knock! Who's there?

2010-06-13T14:50:00.033-04:00

Well, if no one is, it will be no great surprise to me! Who am I? Well the old me was called "Jenny", the new me is called "Supreme Slacker to lazy to update her blog"! In my defense, I work 8hrs a day at a full time job, when I get home I spend the remaining 3-4 hours glued to Mia's side. I know you all understand, I love you for that.

Anywho...We have all been doing great. Mia is growing like a weed. She has ten teeth now and she knows how to use them, heh. She is constantly on the go, walking like a champ! I sometimes still cannot believe that this little girl is here. It's like a miracle that I get to relive day after day...She has change SO much since she has been home. To make my point, here are some before and after pics.

I cannot believe how much I love this child, I truly love her. It wasn't always like this, *gasp*, really to be honest it wasn't. I mean I loved her, but it was a different love. When we first met her and brought her home, I think I was still in shock that, (a)someone felt I was worthy enough to have this beautiful child placed in my arms and, (b) holy shiznit, I am a MOM!! Now what do I do!.
I don't want to get all gushy or corny and talk about love oozing out of me (haha, Rich), but really it took me awhile to feel that love of a mother for her child, to feel that connection...and it's the bestest feeling...I belong to her...

Ok, now what you all are really here for. What!!?? I am under no illusion that you all really come here to read my amazing words of insight, hehe. I will try to go in some kind of order here...

1st Birtday!

Like my hat?!

Me and Pap Pap

Me and Grandma

Hey, let me out!

Wheee, I love the swing! (for like a second)

At a my cousin's wedding in April (excuse mommy's big nose, heh)

Mom, would you please stop taking my picture so I can eat, sheesh!

At the Zoo!

Me and Daddy

Getting ready for my first swim!

I held onto this bottle of sunblock the whole time, always wear your sunscreen!!

Spaghetti Madness!

Me and my new set of wheels..

Ok, so this is what happens when life catches up with you...

2010-02-08T17:13:00.001-05:00

and you are like the biggest loser ever, because it's been over a month since you posted on your own blog, not to mention your friends blogs, heh.

Really, I do apologize to the faithful for continuing to haunt my blog, even though I have been MIA while being a mom to Mia. I started back to work at the end of January and when I get home, I spend all my time just being with her. By the time she goes to bed, I am ready for bed(lazy) and I can't blog from bed, so there you are...So here are some updates on my sweet little dumpling;

She is crawling like a champ and cruising the furniture like a pro. She stood up on her own yesterday, her dad and I witnessed the great event and thought she was just the smartest baby ever! She was sick with a stomach virus last week, that proceeded to wipe out the rest of the family, heh, that's my girl! Her Grammy Blanche has been watching Mia while Rich and I work, she and Mia have bonded really well, so glad. We are still working on her sleeping issues, but they are better, MUCH better!
I know, I know! Where are the pictures! Well, if I could open up the computer without Mia swarming to it like a moth to a flame, I probably could post some. Seriously, the girl loves the computer and screeches like a banshee if she sees you on it and you have the nerve not to invite her to play..
I hope you are all well, I'll catch up on your blogs, I swear I will and I'll post those pictures I promised to post....someday... :o)

Happy Birthday Mia!!

2010-01-07T23:06:00.003-05:00

My sweet little girl turns 1 today! Saturday is the big party with family. I just hope that it doesn't snow too bad that day.

The following video is dedicated to my sweet Mia. Every time she hears this song, she stops whatever she is doing and listens ever so intently, bobs her head to the music and smiles..Love you baby girl...takes us away with you, my love...

Happy Birthday from Mommy and Daddy!

Happy New Year's

2009-12-31T15:03:00.001-05:00

Hope everyone has a great New Year's. Stay safe out there!

Now playing "The Baby Who Would not Sleep"!!

2009-12-17T19:31:00.013-05:00

"Cue scary music"

Starring Rich and Jen, as two desparate parents at the end of their pitiful ropes and Mia as the baby who has decided to stop sleeping at night and torture her parents until they break!
_________

This has been our reality for the past couple and half weeks, lol. Hence, the lack of will or desire to post anything. I am just tired, lol. Some nights are good, she'll sleep really well, but that is only after nights where she is only getting like a total of 7-8 hours. One night she kept me up until 6am, I kid you not. My wonderful hubby stayed home that day, so mommy's head would not pop off and she could get some sleep.....That was a bad day...

Don't get me wrong, Mia is happy, content, a great baby, which is good, very good. When Mia doesn't want to sleep and keeps me up to 6am in the morning, I feel so in adequate, inept and desperate for some magical answer. I know it is not unusual for babies to have sleep issues. I know it is especially not unusual for internationally adopted children to have sleep issues. Maybe she is still grieving, maybe she is scared that if she falls asleep and wakes up, everything will be changed. Will the people here now, not be.....Or maybe this is just something all babies goe thru and will work itself out in time.....ahhh, I don't know, it's a mystery to me. Believe me I am not complaining AT ALL! I know there are many that would change places with me in a heartbeat. It's just at those times I just wish there was something I could do to make it better for her....

As I sat on the couch today, holding my sleeping daughter, watching her lay peacefully and trusting in my arms, I just felt such a love for her, felt it in the core of my being, that I was thinking "aww, who needs sleep anyway", lol.

Oh, btw, she has four teeth now, WOW!!

Few pics for you guys

Christmans Pic

so cute!!

Making music!

Playing with Daddy

EWWWW, It's on my thumb!!!

2009-12-04T19:08:00.002-05:00

I heard my husband exclaim this, as he changed the baby's diaper this evening!

BWHAHAHAHA! *SNORT*

Beijing

2009-11-29T17:10:00.042-05:00

The Great Wall - Amazing

The Forbidden City = Beautiful and Huge!

Mao's Tomb and Tiananmen Square

This guy cracked me up. I was trying to get a shot of Mao's tomb and just as I snapped the pic, he stepped in front of the camera, heh.

Nanchang

2009-11-29T16:30:00.027-05:00

Dinner, err I forget where, but I do remember that the food was excellent! That's Ed, Laura and sweet Olivia in the pic..

Walmart. I was feeding Mia and a group of Chinese ladies walked by and took an interest in us. They were talking a mile a minute and examining Mia's pants and laughing. I assumed they were looking for the split in her pants, wondering how the baby was going to go to the bathroom, lol.

Pics of the lobby of the Jin Feng hotel

Visiting a Dao Temple, it was so peacefull and tranquil. As I snapped the pic of the man sitting on the bench, I couldn't help but hope that his thoughts were happy..

In this pic we entered a courtyard where the monks were just starting a ceremony (building to the left) We were not allowed to film or take pictures of it, but I will tell you, that the music and chanting were hauntingly beautiful. I cried watching it, wondering if Mia would ever get to see this part of her culture , it was so moving.

Dao himself, taming the Dragon

Houston, We have Rollover!!

2009-11-29T13:12:00.003-05:00

Yes!! Mia has mastered the rollover from her tummy to her back. We had been working with her on it. To be honest, she didn't really seem all that interested, she just squealed and fussed whenever we would do tummy time. Then this morning Rich comes running upstairs to show me Mia's new trick. I knew she was holding out on us, heh. Oh and did I mention she just gets cuter every day, yeah I am head over heals for this little girl.
I have been a little under the weather and not really up on my blogging...I have some blog reading to catch up on as well..I am working on posting pictures from our trip and will be posting them in order by the provinces we visited.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. When I read about the state of China adoption program, I know that Rich and I have so much to be thankful for. It seemed like just after we got our referral, things started getting really shaky and unpredictable with the program. It looks like no referrals will be coming again this month, as CCAA welcomes a new director..I feel so badly for the families waiting, I really do, the heartache must be unimaginable. While we were in China, our guide told us, that families logging in now, could expect to wait 5 - 6 years for a referral. I know from experience that people think that even with these odds, you could just walk away from it and save yourself heartache. However, there comes a point where you are not only financially invested, but more importantly emotionally invested in this child you haven't met. I look into Mia's eyes everyday and I realize that it is such a gift, a blessing that she is here with us....For those still waiting,, huge hugs

Guangzhou

2009-11-24T19:52:00.036-05:00

You know, by the time we got to Guangzhou, I think we were so over all the picture taking, though I wish we had gotten more pictures of the island where the White Swan was. It was an interesting place...

White swan lobby, jade carvings

Visiting a Holy Temple

The visit to the doctor

He's gonna do what??

A botanical garden.

Four Shots and a Fever....

2009-11-20T14:06:00.003-05:00

That is what Mia got from her first doctor's visit yesterday. She felt fine last night, although she was a little fussy thru out the night. This morning she woke up later than usual and with the fever. It was 100.8 this morning, with a dose of Tylenol it's down to 99.4. We are trying to get her to drink some water and juice. She is really new at that, I think the consistancy of the water throws her off some, she isn't used to it. She also ate some pears and cheerios, but she doesn't seem to be digging her bottle, maybe her ears are bothering her too. Sure would be nice if babies could talk, lol.

We got teeth!!!!

2009-11-17T10:25:00.004-05:00

Err, ok, we got tooth...Mia has been drooling and gnawing on things like mad crazed beaver. I was feeling her gums last night and I felt the first bottom tooth beginning to push its way thru her gum. Go Mia!! Her legs are getting stronger too, she is able to lock them up better to stand. When we got her referral, we were told she was able to crawl, lol. Uh, yeah right...

Oh, the prunes and oatmeal worked!! Wheee!!! I felt so badly for her, I know it took a great effort for her to get that out...

Hey, should I change the title to my blog? I mean "A Far Away Child" doesn't really apply anymore, but I am kinda attached to it...What do you guys think?

Pics of the day...

2009-11-16T17:11:00.010-05:00

Mia is a little, uh, stopped up so we are trying prunes to get things moving again. We also switched from the rice cereal to oatmeal cereal, hope it works...

Yeah, I feel the same way about eating prunes too, kiddo...
Before anyone mentions my lack of spoon feeding skills, this girl can bob and weave her head better than Mohammad Ali when she doesn't want to eat something,,it was so funny, but we got some in her anyway..lol.

Getting ready for a stroll in the park...

Hey, this might be fun....

Uh, maybe not.....

Update and some pics

2009-11-14T08:30:00.008-05:00

Well, we have been home for a week. On the trip home Mia dealt with the journey like a champ, Rich and I travelled like geriatric patients. Getting thru the jet lag was the worse part of it. One minute you feel ok, the next you feel like you have hit a wall and about to have a meltdown, crazy!! Mia is teething, so she is a little fussy at times. This morning though, she was a total snuggle monkey, LOVE IT!! She loves to be rocked to sleep, while you hum to her. She can sit up on her own now and is getting the hang of playing with toys. Playing with toys was a totally foreign concept to her, now she is getting it. It's a joy to watch her play. She is getting used to the dogs and is starting to reach out to touch them when they come up to her...

And now what you have been patiently waiting for...

Our guide Veronica with Mia

Precious, sleeping beauty

Red Couch, White Swan Hotel

Chillin' at home

A happy Hello and an Apology

2009-11-08T13:10:00.002-05:00

Well, we are home...happy and tired. Mia is up from her nap and is munching on Cheerios. Love that!

We are adjusting and Mia is such a wonderfully sweet, laid back baby, she makes it easy.

I apologize to everyone for not post more while in China. Rich and I were both really sick in China, so by the time we got to Guangzhou and the White Swan we were done in. Besides that, there was not really that much room, so we did not even unpack the laptop.

So, if you sent me an email I will try to get thru them quickly now.

Deb,

I saw your comment on the previous post. Sweetie, I am so sorry. We did fly into LA and I would have loved to see you then....I am really sorry for not being able to see you...

I'll post more soon.....

Oh by the way, sleeping in a soft bed for the first time in 2 weeks was awesome.
Watching Mia sleep in the next room is priceless...

Peace and Love to you all...

The "Big" Day

2009-10-27T14:26:00.004-04:00

So sorry that I have kept you waiting for the "Big" day pictures. The past few days have been a whirlwind of activity. Even when you do have down time you are trying to catch some much needed sleeping, feeding Mia and/or ourselves, or just having some bonding time. Actually yesterday was the first time we unpacked the laptop since arriving in Nanchang on Saturday. Mia is adjusting so well...we are truly blessed...I'll try to post pictures of our tour of Beijing, when I get a chance.

Ni' Hao from Beijing!

2009-10-23T20:45:00.008-04:00

Let me preface this post by saying the Beijing is beautiful. The city is clean and vibrant, everything I thought it would be. It strikes a cord deep within me to know that I am in my daughter's homeland and that she is here, we will meet just a couple of days from now.
Now lets get to the travel part.....It was a complete nightmare....It started out pretty uneventful. We got to the airport on time, checked our luggage and got to our gate with time to spare. Finally they start boarding for our flight, we get on the plane and settle in for a 4 hour flight to LA. After 20 minutes, the stewardess gets on the intercom and said there was an issue with the plane, it had a fuel leak(eek!)...They would try to fix it, but chances are that this flight would be cancelled and we would have to take a later flight. So after another 20 minutes, she comes back on and says they will have to cancel the flight. Thing is, the next flight they had to LA left 3 HOURS LATER, meaning that we would miss our connecting flight with China Southern. Wonderful, Great, Just PERFECT!! Thank goodness the guy at the desk was able to get us seats on a Air China leaving out of LA at 1:40am. We just made that flight, UGH!! It was packed and no room to spread out. OH and did I mention that we had to pay for those extra seats and we will not get refunded the price of the tickets for the flight we missed, even though it was no fault of our own. So now we are out $3,000 Nice!
However, I am greatful they found the fuel leak BEFORE we took off, I do not want to imagine what might have happened had they not....that is too scary.. Also the, Air China flight got us here 3 hours sooner and it was a direct flight to Beijing. Our wonderful guide met us at the airport at 5:40am when our plane got in...what an angel! We are in our hotel room now, weary and looking like something the cat dragged in. Not a pretty site...but ever so grateful TOO be here......will post more omorrow after we do the tourist thing.....The first few pics are of our hote, they others are just random shots of the city .
Bye for now!!! Peace and Love!

Ni' Hao from Beijing!

2009-10-23T20:45:00.007-04:00

Well, this is it folks!!

2009-10-21T09:06:00.002-04:00

My last post before jetting off to China...I can't believe this day is here, I didn't really sleep well last night. All kinds of thoughts and images floating thru my mind. It's hard to shut your mind off when you are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime.

I'll be having someone post updates here, so stay tuned for that...

I wanted to thank you all for your support and encouragement..it means so much to me.

Peace and Love to you all!

There was wailing, weeping and a gnashing of teeth...

2009-10-19T22:32:00.004-04:00

...but we finally got our suitcases packed and underweight. It was a struggle, really it was. For the flights within the United States, we had no problem. The weight for the flights within China were a different story, hence the title for this post....I probably had more of a problem with eliminating stuff to bring, Rich had the job of reigning me in and helping me eliminate things we didn't "really" need. Of course I felt like we needed "everything", lol.
It was exhausting, frustrating and stressful...glad it is done and we can strike one more thing off our to-do list. I also cleaned out the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen...we took one dog to the vet, the other to get groomed, did some laundry, did a little cleaning, did some grocery shopping. Rich also mowed the lawn and weed-whacked the weed garden... I am tired, think I'll go to bed. It'll be another busy day tomorrow....

'Nite everyone.....

p.s.
less than 48 hours to go, wheee!

3 Days.....1 week......A Family....

2009-10-18T22:22:00.005-04:00

3 Days...until Rich and I take off to a far away land...
1 week...until Rich and I meet the child who is to be our daughter and we become A Family.

I wrote to a friend today, "How did I get here"?

For so long our lives have been about this journey we were on. The journey to Mia was our reality, it's what we lived, breathed, hung on to. Almost to the point, that the journey, this path, was all we could see. It was like walking thru a dark forest, that was closing in all around you, while you struggle to find your way. It was frightening with its dark corners and surprising with it's brief flashes of light thru the branches. Then it happened, you reach the edge of the forest, step into the light, which blinds you at first with it's brilliance. When your sight clears, you finally see before you, the reason for the journey, the reason you stepped onto the uncertain and uneven path, the reason you were willing to walk thru the darkness, holding each others hand....You see HER. ..

It's a wonder to me, that Rich and I are at this point in our journey, but it does not end here. There were only two hands holding onto each other, now there will be three and the journey starts again....

A VERY WONDERFUL SURPRISE!!!!

2009-10-15T19:29:00.003-04:00

My fellow workers threw a surprise baby shower for me!!! I had such a great time, it was such fun....They went above and beyond for me, I am so lucky to have people like that to work with.

The day started off crappy. I was tired, cranky and not feeling good, it was raining out, you get the picture. My lead Lori said she wanted to take me to lunch to celebrate me going to China and for adopting Mia. I ageed, to be honest I could've used the break by noon. So she came by then and said that our manager called a meeting and we had to go to that, before we could go to lunch. Well, you can guess what happened..Everyone was so generous, so giving and what started off as a day I would rather forget, turned into a day I'll always remember....Rich and I thank you from the bottom our hearts!!

really...REALLY?????

2009-10-13T20:23:00.002-04:00

One week from tomorrow, we leave....I am a woman of emotional extremes...well hubby and I both are. Going from uncontrollable excitement one minute, to anxiousness the next....I can't wait to be done with work, my mind is definitely not there and I am just taking up space. So much to do in the coming days, I hope that it makes the time fly by...how will I be able to stand it otherwise...

I received a very special item in the mail today, from some very special ladies...you know who you are...I do not have the words to express how your "gift" touched me.

Referrals finally came out, CCAA skipped September, I cannot imagine the agony of waiting an extra month. I offer a hearty congratulations to those families..it's a day you will never forget!

2 WEEKS!!!!...

2009-10-06T20:18:00.002-04:00

.....From today, Rich and I will be winging our way to a land far away, but very near in our hearts!! Ok, that was pretty corny, I admit, but I am just a little giddy with excitement! 1 week of work left, whoo hoo!! I so can't wait to meet Mia. I just hope I can temper all this excitement with a little humbleness and gratefulness for this incredible gift...

This month, the 31st, will mark the one year anniversary of my mother's passing. I won't be here, but sister from St Louis will be. Thank you so much, PJ for coming in, for both you and Lisa taking care of the house and dogs, for being there for dad during this difficult month....I miss her so much, but I can't help but be happy today....I know mom would understand!

3 WEEKS!!!!!

2009-09-29T20:30:00.002-04:00

Until we leave.....3 weeks 5 days until we are with Mia. Where has the time gone? In full panic mode, dh and I realized that we are fully prepared with stuff for Mia while in China, food, clothing, toys, medicine, but we had practically nothing for when we return. Are we nuts? I think we were just so focused on on preparing for travel, packing for her, getting our final paperwork in..that we missed the boat, lol. I think our brains fell out of our ears on referral day and we didn't even notice, we were so happy.
Honest to God, I shake my head at our idiocy..So this weekend we went out and bought diapers, formula, bathing stuff and toys, all for when we come back, :o) My husband said at the store, "I just realized how unprepared we are". Huh, ya think?? Obviously we weren't thinking, it's not like this adoption snuck up on us. I mean, hello, it has only been our reality for the past 3+ years.

This does not bode well for our elderly years.....I had better get the name tags and notes with our address printed on them ready now...

It's so surreal.....

2009-09-25T16:29:00.002-04:00

to imagine that this wait is almost over. We received visa's yesterday, our tickets by Fedex today and got our itinerary from our agency today. The paperwork is completed, all the T's are crossed and I's dotted, now all we have to do is wait for 10/21 to get here....

I am looking out into a future that is unknown to me. It's not that I didn't "know" this day would come, it's just that I am amazed that it's almost here.

A dream really will triumph over reality, once it is given a chance..............

Hey maybe this thing is going to happen after all!!!

2009-09-18T19:47:00.005-04:00

We got our TA today! Whoo hooo!! We will be leaving on 10/21 returning on 11/7 and 10/25 is Mia day!! I was so prepared to have to wait thru the weekend. Our agency wasn't even expecting the TA's to arrive, but arrive they did!! This part of the journey is almost at an end. Honestly this past month has flown by..getting our TA today was almost as good as referral day...almost...

Updated Pictures!!!!

2009-09-16T16:59:00.005-04:00

I think the yummy cuteness speaks for itself! We also got a picture of her with her foster mom. I am so happy about that!

Look at the those cheeks, OY!!

Mia's doing good!!, no pictures though...

2009-09-15T18:46:00.005-04:00

Got updated information from my agency today....

Weight: 13lbs, up from 11lbs
Lenghth: 24 inches, up from 22
Head and Chest: 15.76 inches (is that good?)
Foot: 4.14
Teeth: 0

I am so happy about this, because it means that she is healthy and growing! I wish we had updated pictures. Maybe, I will get them from the care package we sent. I wish we had pictures of her and her foster mother, I would so love for her to have that, I would hope that it would mean alot to her when she is older and able to understand all this.

No Travel Approval yet, I am thinking we will receive that information sometime this week (please). I know some people who already know when they will be traveling, I am jealous! Oh well, need to practice being patient for a little while longer!

Where Mia is...

2009-09-06T01:07:00.014-04:00

I found a map of Jiangxi, the province where Mia is from. If you look up in the upper left hand corner to the left of Nanchang, you will be able to locate Tonggu, the county where Mia is........My agency said she was in foster care, but I think that she has probably been back at the orphanage since our referral... Clicking on the photo will enlarge it

I also found a Yahoo group for Tonggu families!! How awesome is that! I am so excited to get to know families who have children in the same orphanage. So far I know of two other families with our agency, whose children are from the same province, same orphanage. Possibly our children might even be "friends" and play together, that makes me feel so happy for her...I don't want her to be alone..*sniff*
Oh and another site I found, http://www.redthreadmaps.com/, where you can order maps of your child's province that they can customize for you, clothing, pictures, gifts...all kinds of things. It is definately worth a look see, I will probably order some things for around the house and her room...

Talked to the pediatrician about Mia's medical records..

2009-09-02T20:25:00.002-04:00

The doctor pretty much confirmed what I was wondering, that Mia was born premature, maybe about 6-7 weeks early. She based this on Mia's weight (4.4 lbs) at birth, her small size for her age and how she had trouble eating when first placed in the orphanage, among other things. Doctor says there is no way to know for sure, but she also thinks that Mia is doing well, since she is gaining weight, proportionate and her cognizant and motor functions are in line with a baby's Mia's age, had she not been premature. She did ask for updated medical records, just to be sure that any new information, will show Mia improving more. She thinks Mia will do most of her catching up when she is home with us,,,,uh can I bring her home today, please!

I can't believe that it's been two weeks since our referral this time is flying by. There is so much to do and we still haven't been contacted by our travel advisor...I think I'll call the agency tomorrow. I would have thought we would have heard something by now....

For my husband.......

2009-08-26T21:10:00.002-04:00

Fifteen years ago, we stood before our family and God, pledging to love each other thru good times and bad, for richer or poorer, thru sickness and health...I remember when we first met...you thought I was stuck up....I thought you were overbearing and obnoxious. I am not sure when things changed between us, but I knew it was meant to be....

We have certainly have had our share of bad times....thankfully we have also had our share of the good times. Thru all these years, I am so glad that I had you to stand by my side. There is no one else I would rather have there...You have held me up when my life looked the bleakest, you have kept me strong when I would have faltered..

As we enter a new chapter in our lives, the one where we become parents for the first time, I am so glad that I get to experience this special time with you, we have waited so long, my love.

Happy Anniversary...

And so the travel phase begins...

2009-08-24T18:58:00.002-04:00

We receive our referral information by Fedex today. That sneaky little Fedex guy dropped off the envelope without me knowing he was there...so I didn't get a photo of that...oh well..

We signed all the paperwork and sent it to our agency. I also took care of sending out a care package for Mia..
Now we just have to wait for TA (Travel Approval)..I hope it doesn't take too long.. :0)

Oh yeah, we originally were told she was in an orphanage, but it turns out that she has been in foster care..I am really happy with that....I feel so much better knowing that she has someone to really care for her and love her...I am a little torn up about having to take her away from that....the only family she has known in her young life...

She is an adorable little dumpling isn't she. Rich and I love her to pieces already...Can't wait to meet her. I hope she likes us too!

Our beautiful daughter!!!!!

2009-08-21T14:23:00.012-04:00

I am just blown away....I cannot even begin to tell you all the feelings rushing around my mind and body right now....She is beautiful, she is perfect, we are so inlove with our daughter!!!

Introducing Mia Min Yun Tong. Her birthday is 1/07/2009 she is 7 months old. She weighs 11lbs(little peanut) and is 22 inches long. She can hold her head up, grabs for toys, is active an likes music. She is smiling and laughing!

Is Friday THE day??

2009-08-19T18:08:00.003-04:00

Got an email from our agency today, saying that their courier has a package from CCAA due to arrive on Friday...

All I can say is BRING IT ON!!!

CCAA is matching.......as reported by RQ....

2009-08-12T18:27:00.002-04:00

Some where is this room, on these shelves, our dossier has sat for over 3 years. It has not known the sadness, anguish and heartbreak that these 3 years of waiting have wrought...It has occupied it's own space, filled with a hope, a promise and an expectant love waiting to be given...

Soon, this dusty file will be opened....

Soon, the photographs of a hopeful couple will see the light of day once again...

Soon, a child without a family will meet the couple who have carried that child in their hearts for what seems like a lifetime....

Soon to become a family......

It could be within a week we will see her face, it could be a little longer than that...but soon,.....

This is HARD!!

2009-08-10T14:42:00.002-04:00

Well, it doesn't look like any referrals will be coming today. The referrals received in Finland appear to be a rogue batch...sent just to torture the rest of us...PHOOEY!!

So let the waiting begin again,.....Ugh....This is HARD!

Officially Freaking Out!

2009-08-08T12:21:00.005-04:00

There is a post on Rumor Queen, that at least three families from Finland, all from the same agency, with a LID of 3-24-2006 have received their referral....Umm..Okay.....

So, does this mean referrals are on the way? I don't know..
So, does this mean we will get the call in a few days? I don't know..
So, does that mean I will see my daughters face this coming week? I don't know..
Some people think it might be rogue referrals. The same thing happened last month when referrals were sent to some families, right after referrals had just come out. So I don't know what to think...

What I do know is that I am freaking out, that I have a migraine, that I am having trouble processing this all right now.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

Could it be true??

Mia's room (hope you like it)

2009-08-02T17:58:00.013-04:00

Going to work on finishing Mia's room this weekend....

2009-07-29T21:45:00.003-04:00

I know....I know....I can almost see you guys shaking your fingers in shame, at me ( I need that little emoticon from the Ducky Board), but anyone who knows me, knows that I am a notorious procrastinator....Really, I am horrible.....If it didn't scare me more to NOT finish her room now, I would probably wait until the night we were due to leave for China to finish it and be in full panic mode, lol. What is wrong with me? Have I not come out of the wait fugue yet? Am I still in denial that this is finally going to happen??? Honest to God I am almost ambivalent, totally shameful....Is this what 3+ years of waiting does to you????

On a side note, we went to our second TRFCC meeting last night (thank you Leigh for encouraging us to join one). Had a GREAT time and met some new people and got re-aquainted(is that really a word? Jacqui?) with people we had met at the first meeting...What I think I loved the most was spending quality time with people who have been there, done that! So much information to be had and they really are great people.

Ahh, well, it's almost 10pm here and I have to get a load of laundry in. I have been saying that I was going to do a load since 8pm, but the procrastinator in me took over..lol. Hmmmm, House Hunters International is on, maybe just a quick peek, heh.

Holy Moses!! 40 months!!

2009-07-24T21:23:00.002-04:00

Well, Happy 40th LID anniversary to us!! I know that I am 99.9% sure that we will receive our referral next month. However, there is this little twinge of doubt that lingers. Why? Maybe it's because we are used to having the rug pulled out from under us, so until that sweet baby is in my arms, I am not sure that I can believe 100%. Kooky, huh?

CCAA sends out referrals up to March 22nd.....

2009-07-20T18:51:00.007-04:00

While we did not receive a referral this month, I am pretty certain that we will get our referral next month.

There is something to be said for that. I mean. I am NEXT!!! I am pretty excited now and not at all upset about not getting our referral this month. I guess it just feels "right".

So, let the countdown to Mia FINALLY begin...

p.s I don't really dance like this, I am much worse :o)

Chrisser, I hope you are dusting off those dancing shoes!!

"Preparing to Match" ......

2009-07-15T20:01:00.002-04:00

Those are the words of the new blog post on RQ......I can't even begin to tell you what those few words did to me. A little bit of dizzy excitement mixed with a nervous happiness. My mind is a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions.

Will my dh and I finally see our daughters face this month, or will our patience be tested for yet another month??? OMG! OMG! OMG! How do I stand this?? LOL!

Vacation was fun, though most of us ended up sick. Yes, we loved the cute adorableness of my niece Cali, we do NOT love her cold germs, lol.

The nothing post....

2009-06-29T19:51:00.010-04:00

OMG!! Time is crawling at the speed of a snail!! It's almost cruel, lol. I really do not have nothing to post about. I honestly thought at this point, I would go into some sort of zen like trance state, knowing that I'll be seeing my daughters face soon. Isn't turning out that way, go figure...I hate to feel like I am wishing my life away, time is fleeting as it is.

OHH! Going on vacation to Wildwood NJ next week. I would say that it will help keep my mind off things, but uh, THAT would be a lie.... I'll just have MORE TIME to dwell on when we might hear of referrals coming in. GAH!

It should still be a nice time, since we are going with family. Err, I do mean ALL the family, so it should be, ummm interesting. If I can manage not wanting to pinch my one sister's head off, I think all will be well,,

My great-niece Cali-Grace is going. Rich and I love her to pieces! Rich cannot go anywhere without Cali wanting to go too!

Here is a pic of her, honestly I could just eat her up!! Such cuteness!

Here is handsome great-nephew Andrew, who is going as well.
My sister from St. Louis is going, can't wait to see you PJ!! Actually I can't wait to spend time with all the family, I think we need this regrouping time....

Hmm, I guess this wasn't a nothing post after all....

Referrals are in!

2009-06-20T11:25:00.003-04:00

CCAA matched up to March 20th, that's 4 log in dates away from us. Little babies are finding their forever families, how wonderful is that!!

Now the next question is, will CCAA get to the 24th next month??? I'll tell ya, the closer you get to referral time, the more anxious you get....the more uncertain. I wish I could say we will be in next month, but who knows...no sense being upset about it, it is what it is.....

I think about Mia, hoping she is ok and safe, that there is someone there to hold her when she cries...to play with her...to show her love...that's what gets me....

Quickie post before bed....

2009-06-18T22:56:00.003-04:00

Well, it's looking pretty good that CCAA has match up to 3/20/06, that's 6 days worth of LID's!! Awesome!!

The downside, the 21st, 22nd, 23rd and 24th, are all big LID days, meaning according to RQ's polls there are A LOT of people logged in on those days. It is the consensus that CCAA will only get to the 22nd next month, which will mean that we might not see a referral until August, or *gasp* September, which would be pretty disappointing....I didn't figure in that I might have to wait 3 more months, so I am pretty sad at the moment.....

Another quiet weekend......

2009-06-12T17:41:00.003-04:00

Well, no new is good news, isn't it? I hope so, because it is still quiet out there. I have been feeling quite under the weather this week, so I haven't be "around" much. I am just going to have a glass of wine ( a known cure all, I am positive :), curl up on the couch and watch the Penguins play the Redwings....most likely I will fall asleep before that!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Much love to you all....

Rumors of referals, Oh My!!

2009-06-08T18:00:00.003-04:00

There is an teeny tiny, itsy bitsy rumor today, on the Rumor Queen. Not enough to make me go into spasms of joy, but enough to give me heart palpitations!

The rumor is so out of left field that RQ is only giving it the lowest rating on the rumor scale, an R1...The rumor is that CCAA is matching or has matched all of March. Gulp!! Does that mean if they have matched all of March, that they will send them all out as referral or only send out the matches they want to....Or this could all be a bunch of Hooey!!

Early rumors hardly ever come tru, unless they are bad, lol. So while the rumor brought a smile to my face and gave my heart a good lurch, I am not on the rollercoaster yet with this one...but, what if?????? Will we finally get to see Chrisser do the chair dance??? :) Inquiring minds want to know!!

Pictures of Mia's Room

2009-06-07T12:31:00.013-04:00

So, here are some pictures of Mia's room. I don't have the drapes up and I have to decorate it, but the major stuff is done. The walls are a light lavender and I plan to do like a garden theme. I have cute fabric butterflies, bumblebee, dragonfly and flowers....

If you listen very closely

2009-06-06T12:06:00.003-04:00

you can hear nothing, nada, absolute silence......no rumors about when the next batch of referrals will be in or what the cutoff date will be. It's torture, I need to know if we will be included with the July referrals...I just need to know if the torturous wait will ever end, lol.

On the bright side, we get to spend another $760 dollars updating our homestudy and fingerprints for the third time, Yay! Fun times...pffft!
I really don't mean to sound babyish or whiny....Rich and I are really so lucky to even be on this journey and I know we will be so blessed when we do receive our referral. It's just, well, we both are so ready for the next part of our lives to start!! I guess I am just feeling a bit cranky....

Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention.....

2009-05-27T21:09:00.004-04:00

That CCAA got to March 14th this month. That is 10 days away from our log in date, SWEEET! So we are hoping for a July/August referral...hopefully July.

I am almost afraid to put this out here, knowing how swiftly things can change....OMG July is so close!!

I DID forget that May 24th was our 38 month log in date anniversary EEEP!! I can only pray that I have only one more of those before we get to see Mia for the first time,,,wheeee!

I feel like I can breathe again.......

2009-05-20T14:45:00.002-04:00

and come out of this self imposed blogging hiatus....I just had to get away, away from the discouraging news of CCAA holding referrals because of H1N1...away from anything adoption because I just couldn't handle it at the time. There is only so much a person can take, KWIM?

Well, there is news that referrals are arriving in Europe, the cut being March 14th.
I believe it's and R3 on Rumor Queen, so it must be coming from more than one or two sources...I am so relieved. It the cut-off is March 14th, that means that CCAA is only 10 Log in dates away from us....If CCAA keeps on track then more referrals should be arriving in another couple of weeks, I really hope so.

I am really hoping for a July referral, but you never can take anything for granted in this process...

SIGH............Just heard from my agency...

2009-05-12T21:27:00.004-04:00

Who says their office in Beijing has confirmed with CCAA that matching and mailing of referrals are being delayed, due to the swine flu... Just what the matching and mailing of referrals has to do with the Swine Flu is beyond me..... Right now I am just so tired of this,......Nothing about TA's being delayed though, something is going on. This swine flu thing seems to me, just to be a smoke screen, an excuse. It doesn't make sense to stop matching or mailing referrals......Travel, yes, matching, why? Yet I keep reading of people leaving soon for China, or who are there or having no problem getting the traveling papers..I just don't understand..

Worked till almost 8 o'clock tonight to come home and read this.... Nothing about this makes sense anymore.....it's a total nightmare....

Going to bed......

Long Island Ice Tea Saturday...

2009-05-09T20:33:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't posted in a while, heck I even haven't checked my favorite blogs lately. Lot's of working late, well lately and lot's of stress....

So I am winding down the day, after working another Saturday, with my favorite drink second only to the vino... So my friends, if I haven't posted on your blog lately, please don't be offended, I just haven't had the energy to form a coherent thought to post something intelligent...sounding....lol.

A teeny rumor is floating around in virtual adoption land, that CCAA will get to the March 15th this month.....How come it seems that all the bad rumors come true, but the good ones don't. AHH WEll, that's the way the fortune cookie crumbles I guess.....

Hope you all are well!!!

I asked Guru Joe if I would get my referral in July, he said "Absolutely Not"...Jerk

A new Day, a new Attitude and good News....

2009-05-02T14:59:00.003-04:00

You can almost hear the collective sigh of the adoption community...It does not appear that CCAA is going to suspend travel or referrals, they, the CCAA, is encouraging agencies to counsel their clients to do so, but it does not appear (yet) to be policy.... I guess we will know more next week, when referrals and TA's should be coming out, so keep your fingers crossed...

My agency did send out an email, letting us know, that they have been given no indication that travel and referrals will not continue as planned. So I am going to trust they know what they are doing and not get myself worked up, lol.

p.s. I am will be so glad to get off this rollercoaster....I have had about all I can take at the moment....

Thanks A LOT Porky!!!!

2009-04-29T18:55:00.010-04:00

Rumor Queen has posted that one US agency and 2 European agencies, have received word that CCAA plans to suspend TA's and Referrals until the Swine Flu dies down....

GREAT!!! PERFECT!!!!!!!

I haven't heard anything from my agency yet, but I am sure (if this is true) we will hear something soon. Seeing that we would have been 3 or 4 months out from referral, it might not impact us much, unless CCAA doesn't play catch up and just pushes referrals back a month, heh, then I might implode.....

I understand CCAA's caution, the kids need to be safe....I don't know who I feel worse for, families who were execting to travel this month, recieve TA's or those families that would have gotten their referral this month.

"sigh"
I am NOT even gonna say, "what else could happen", because God has a quirky sense of humor...lol.

p.s F*** Y** Guru Joe, you don't know S*%&T!!!

P.P.S
I am not trying to make lite of the flu, I know people have lost their lives and it is no joke, soo, I just wanted to put that out there.....

Survey Say's Yup!

2009-04-28T19:06:00.002-04:00

Just ask Guru Joe, no really, ask him. That's what he said when I asked him if I would get my referral in July.

It's amazing what you will resort to, to hold onto your sanity.

:o)

Ladybugs in a bag...

2009-04-27T14:52:00.004-04:00

No, it's not the latest fashion or diet craze.....but it brought a smile to my face.

So I am at the local flower nusery, I was buying one of those silk flower crosses to put at my mothers grave. I am standing at the cashing register and this older man, gets in line behind me. He places something on the counter, I look down, it's this sheer looking bag and you could definately tell there were bugs crawling around inside, ALOT of bugs....I am sure my eyes got really BIG and I managed to croak out, "WHAT are those???"
The guys smiled and said they were Ladybugs!!! He said he buys them because they eat the Aphids off his tomato plants...

Ladybugs in a bag, can't beat THAT kind of Ladybug sighting!! :o)

Matching, Matching, Matching and even a cut off date rumor!

2009-04-24T18:26:00.004-04:00

Well, the great and wise RQ has posted a rumor that CCAA has begun matching. This is a good sign, I like to hear that CCAA is hard at work, matching yummy babies to patiently(snort!)waiting families...
Also there is an early rumor of a cut off date of 3/14/06. Hmmph! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me 460 bazillion times, shame on me :o) I fall for it everytime, heh!

Oh and for those keeping count, today marks 37 months of waiting.....really? I mean REALLY!! lol...

Ok, this HAS to be a sign!

2009-04-21T22:31:00.004-04:00

So, you know the saying I have on my blog title?

"A dream will always triumph over reality once it is given a chance", a chinese proverb....

Well, my dh and I had chinese last night and there was a left over fortune cookie, the last of 3, which the other two I opened last night. I opened the last one tonight and guess what was the fortune inside....come on...guess.....

"A dream will always triumph over reality once it is given a chance", a chinese proverb....

I kid you not! My eyes went big and I kinda had thought that someone was trying to tell me something....

Hmmmm, What to talk about??

2009-04-21T19:29:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a while, well, since referrals last came out. I feel like I am in a holding pattern right now...circling the runway until we are told we can come in for a landing...I checked China Adoption Forecast for the umpteenth time, still says to expect a referral on 7-30-09. I would be excited, because that is just three months away, however, it keeps getting pushed back, due to the small amount of LID's being referral, I am in referral hell, lol.

On a personal note, my sister in Illinois "might" have breast cancer. She has to have some scans done, so they won't know for sure, for a week or so I guess ....I can't think about that right now..it's just too much, we don't have the greatest relationship at the moment, but she is still my sister...sucks big time.

I've been missing my mom a whole lot, last week I was a mess, I am better this week..There are times when I still expect her to be here, it's a bitter pill to swallow knowing she is not, but I guess it's just a part of grieving, acceptance......

I wish I had some happy or uplifting things to post, but I just don't have it right now. I am not looking for pity or anything and I hate to be whiny or griping about the hand that life has dealt my family recently, just needed a place to put some words down, it helps sometimes.....

If you'll allow for a little melancholy...The song track posted above is dedicated to my mom....miss you...love you....until we meet again....

Well, I'm not gonna lie....

2009-04-05T17:00:00.002-04:00

I am pretty disappointed that CCAA only got to March 8th. Although there is one person saying that they have a LID of March 9th, who said they got the call..but that could have been a fluke. Our agency hasn't sent out the usual Stork Alert, so I wonder if there is anything to this

It seems like this is going to take forever. DH said if CCAA only does 2 days from here on out, then we would get our referral in December. This really stinks...

To put a positive spin on it, CCAA DID get thru the 7th, a big day and babies have found forever families to love them... so I guess it really is a matter of perspective.

On this date in History.....

2009-03-24T00:20:00.000-04:00

1874 Harry Houdini (Magician)is born( I guess this is where he got the idea of being an escape artist)

1882 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow dies.

1923 Greece becomes a republic

1960 A U.S.appeals court ruled that the novel, Lady Chatterly’s Lover, was not obscene and could be sent through the mail. (Try it and see)

1968 The Metropolitan Life Insurance Company is formed

1987 Lean on Me - Club Nouveau-Tops the charts

1989 At four minutes past midnight, the Exxon Valdez, a 987-foot supertanker loaded with 1,264,155 barrels of North Slope crude oil, ran aground on Bligh Reef in Prince William Sound, Alaska. 11.2 million gallons of oil spilled into the sea (I remember this, what a disaster. I hope someone smacked that guy on the back of the head! What a dumbass!)

2002 Halle Berry *On this date in 2002, the first African-American woman won the Academy Award for best actress.Halle Berry became the first Black woman to win an Oscar for a starring performance.(You go Girl!)Oh Yeah,Denzel Washington won the Oscar for Best Male performance.

2004 astronomers reported finding an object with a diameter of 800/1,100 miles circling the sun far beyond the orbit of any known planet.It's dubbed a planetoid.( Uh Huh...)

2005 The PlayStation portable is released. (yeah, like we needed another video game player)

2006 Our Dossier is logged in at CCAA. (all was right with the world)

2007 a Democratic sponsored resolution calling for U.S.combat troops to begin withdrawing from Iraq within 120 days and be fully out of the country by March 31,2008, failed in the Senate by 10 votes on a 50 to 48 count.(thanks for that one guys, I am sure families of the men over there appreciated it)

2009 We celebrate(that might be stretching it a bit)3 years of still being logged in with CCAA.(what the heck??!!)

Well, this was a fun little excercise, one I plan on NOT repeating next year, lol. I was interested on what else had happened on this date in history. Some great things happened and some...ummm...not so great things... Interesting to read that even though we waited, time moved forward and history was being made...

On a lighter note, I ordered new curtains for Mia's room, YEAH! They are SOOO cute and I can't wait for them to come in. I am really itching to finish her room, but I am afraid of jinxing myself. My dh bought a crib the day we found out we were logged in with CCAA...and now it's three years later....I'm just sayin.... :o)

Round and Round it goes......

2009-03-19T21:18:00.004-04:00

where the rumor mill stops, nobody knows!!

Rumor Queen has heard of two rumors of potential cut off dates for the next batch of referrals, both are not confirmed and not reliable, but what the hell, I'll get on the rollercoaster ride this month.
The first is that the cutoff will be the 9th (BOO!) and the other says the cut off is for the 14th (YAY!)
I temper this with the 7th of March 2006, rumored to have alot of people logged in on that day, some say CCAA wont be able to do more than that day, OY!

So, who wants to join me for the ride?? :o)

No, your not losing it.....

2009-03-16T14:56:00.003-04:00

I deleted the post I made last night, it sounded too angry. I decided that it really did not belong here, so it's gone.....I feel better about it...I guess I was just venting and needed to get it "out"...soooo, the poison is out, time to let the good feelings back in!!

Well, at least it wasn't one day, lol...

2009-03-03T18:47:00.005-05:00

It's official, CCAA matched TWO whole days *sarcastic applause*. While this is the most excellent and happiest of news for those seeing their babies faces for the first time and kids finding their forever families, it royally sucks for the rest of us, lol. I know what you are thinking...ummm..isnt that four days, you goof...well yeah, but the 4th and 5th are the weekend and I am not sure there were people logged in on those days...I am not really in the habit of being a whiny brat, but given the current state of waiting, I hope I am cut some slack! :o) Anyway, it's four days off the calendar!
I was excited when they started referring our month, I guess I just expected them to be a little further into it by now....Now with March 7th 2006 standing in front of us like a brick wall...totally prepared that CCAA does only that day, anything more would be a total gift...
Thanks Leigh, for putting it all into perspective and what the end result of all this ugly waiting will be. I really appreciate it. I am down off the wall for the moment and looking forward to baby shopping this weekend!

Happy 35 months!!!!

2009-02-24T20:14:00.003-05:00

I have to think that way or I just might lose it and not in a good way, lol.

I think part of the problem is that we have NO idea what CCAA is going to do this month. There is nothing out there as far as substantial rumors, nada, nothing, zilch!!
An early, VERY ugly rumor was that CCAA matched only one day this month....You could hear the collective March '06 LID'ers bang their heads against the wall, I swear it!
Usually this would be the week to hear something or was that last week?? Not sure, but it makes me nervous.

I know, have patience, my day will come, it'll be my turn soon...Lather..Rinse..Repeat....

*Update*
Deana is on her way to Texas to continue her treatment there. Please continue to pray for her and her family. Thanks to everyone who joined her cause on Facebook, it means so much to them and to me too!

Please send your prayers, positive thoughts or whatever it is that you do, to Deana

2009-02-21T10:01:00.006-05:00

Deana is a lady on a message board that I belong to. Last year, she was diagnosed Burkitt's Lymphoma and has been fighting the battle for her life. Yesterday her and her husband got some bad news, I am asking that you pray for her and her family. She has two small boys, who need their mommy very much...

Here is the post her husband made yesterday, it is all just so sad and unfair....
____________________________________________________________________
Dearest friends, (written by dh, I just couldn't do it)

Deana and I met with her doctor today and received some disturbing news. Apparently Deana's cancer is not responding at all to the chemotherapy treatment she's been receiving these last several weeks. It has started to appear on the right side of her face causing a numbing sensation that Deana describes as 5 novacaine shots after a dentist visit.
Deana has tried two different chemotherapy protocols and is now going to start a third (possibly final) no later than Monday. We will know in as little as two weeks if it is successful.
To our shock and utter dismay, the doctor is not optimistic about this round of chemotherapy, but given the odds are greater than zero, we charge forward. We will not give in.
Tomorrow, Deana's oncologist and I will each be contacting medical oncologists at M. D. Anderson Hospital in Houston, TX. Apparently their lymphoma treatment is the most progressive and if there are applicable clinical trials with experimental drugs -- should it come to that -- that hospital will be leading those efforts.

Deana wanted me to let everyone know that while we are hopeful, and are trying to remain positive, that the doctor did tell us that given the aggressive nature of Deana's cancer, we are dealing with just a matter of weeks for Deana if not addressed. He has encouraged us to contact Hospice.
I apologize for the impersonal nature of this update, but wanted to make sure to keep you all informed.
Please keep Deana and our boys Zane and Zachary in your prayers. It means so much to us. We need them now more than ever.

On a much happier note, when asked last week by his teacher how Zane's parents met (apparently a Valentine's Day exercise at school), he responded:
They ate chocolate donuts, brown donuts and chocolate donuts and just fellin love.

Priceless. This hangs on our refrigerator now.

Please, please take the extra moment to hug your spouse and kids today and often.
Either I or Deana will post an update just as soon as we know more.

God bless you all,
Jack
__________________________________________________________________

I think its an great idea to take that extra moment today to tell those close to you how much you love them and hug them.....

"You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away"

2009-02-11T21:30:00.005-05:00

This is the fortune in my fortune cookie tonight.....Could it possibly mean......

I LIKE IT!! I can't wait, I cant believe we are this close, well if you could say 5 months is close, hahaha!

The Steelers pluck the Cardinals and March is officially on the board....

2009-02-02T18:47:00.004-05:00

Just look at that picture, isn't that the look of pure joy!! Our beloved Steelers won the Superbowl after a real nail biter, winning the game with a touchdown in the LAST 35 seconds of the game! OH MAN, it was SOOOO exciting!!

CCAA finally updated their website to indicate that they matched up to March 2nd. Yeah, we knew that, but now it's official and March is on the board!!! Yeah! 22 log in dates to go!

Charlie Brown and Lucy and the football...

2009-01-22T18:36:00.002-05:00

Like good ole Charlie, I keep promising myself that I won't fall for it again, nope not this time. You would think I would be tired of daring to believe something that couldn't possibly be true, well obviously hope springs eternal and I did dare to believe (if only a little bit). "Got a bridge in the desert you want to sell me", lol.

Anywho, it appears the rumor that CCAA got past the 23rd was UNTRUE, while the rumor they only got to the 2nd was TRUE....heh, go figure, like I didn't see THAT one coming...

So I guess I'll be standing in line next month, waiting for my chance for a go at the football, I just can't seem to help myself, hehehehe..

I have to say, that it's not CCAA's fault we are Charlie Browns, just hoping that this one time, just this one time, a good rumor might be true...

My heartfelt congratulations to those parents, who are seeing the childs face for the first time today.....

Totally OT: How 'bout dem Steelers!!!

2009-01-19T00:06:00.005-05:00

Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl!!!!!

What a nailbiter and I mean that literally.....I mauled them the whole game, but the Steelers win was worth it!!

On a side note, the rumor of CCAA getting beyond the 23rd is a bust (we all new that, right?), but we should get some idea of what the cut off date will be next week.....Like I said, I would be happy with 5 days. So CCAA, throw this girl a bone would you please....

Those early rumors can be oh so cruel........

2009-01-15T21:14:00.004-05:00

Sooooo, I am on Rumor Queen and what do I read??? Well, she has a very early rumor(I use that term loosely, it's more like this months torture), that somebody's agency was stating that CCAA is supposed to have matched beyond March 23rd...I nearly swallowed my tongue...

And I quote...

"There is also a rumor about a cut off date, but it’s only coming from one place and it’s pretty fantastic at this point. If true then it would be better than any of the columns on my projections table. Even better than the good case scenario from back in 2006. I think we’ll put that one at an R1 at this point"

The projections after the last batch of referals..

Holy Crap! Just when I got used to waiting five more months for a referal, five more months of easing my way into motherhood(lets not kid ourselves, I have been easing myself into motherhood for 12 years now).

1. If this rumor does pan out, who is going to talk me off the ceiling?? Not my dh, he is the biggest spaz on the planet and I don't feel prepared for this.(I hear your brains thinking "Lady, you've had almost 3 years to get ready, what have you been doing all this time?) Is lamenting over the wait, drinking wine and eating chocolate considered preparing? I think not....

2. If the rumor is NOT true (odds are it isn't), what kind of sick creep would say something like that. Some sick twisted individual, who is probably thinking "Lets watch their heads explode when we lay this on them", as they chortle in glee......

Even though I do not "really" believe the rumor, I'll be damned if a little bit of "what if" doesn't creep in...

*any data posted here is from the RQ site, have to give the Queen props ya know or Off with yer head!*

Hot off the presses...

2009-01-14T19:07:00.003-05:00

According to Rumor Queen, CCAA has begun matching for this month....I am excited to see how far into March they get....Oh please let them do at least 5 days!!! Hopefully we'll get an idea of just how many days, next week...
I can't imagine how the people who are next in line are dealing with it, I am sure people would come to hate me, it would be all I talked about, lol.

Merry New Year!!!!!

2009-01-01T14:26:00.005-05:00

Hope everyone has a blessed and wonderful year!!!

I am getting butterflies......

2008-12-29T18:29:00.007-05:00

No, not that kind of butterfly... I am talking about the ones that live in the pit of my stomach, making me extremely nervous....
Referrals came out today and CCAA matched up to February 28. For you Leap Year afficionados, that means February 2006 is DONE and next month CCAA will be starting on March 2006 LIDS...did you get that? MARCH!!!!!

There is a website that calculates when you will get a referral based on how many LID's CCAA is matching a month and what your LID is.

http://www.chinaadoptionforecast.com/

Ours is well, you know, just look above this post silly...based on today's number of referrals our referral is expected (I try not to expect TOO much) to come in May...

MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's five months away, people! So it appears we will be traveling in late June, early July.....All I can say is WOW, am I really going to become a mom after all this time??????

Well this is based on if CCAA continues matching as they have. If they do more days, it will be sooner....YAY!!!! If they do less days, it will take longer....BOOOOO!

(I know that the blog is now green. I am so tired of the pink, but now it's ALL green. Don't know if I like it yet, but I am so not techie and I don't know how to create what I want, bleh....

Merry Christmas....

2008-12-25T09:55:00.003-05:00

Even though this year was filled with hard times and sadness, I feel like there is still so much to be thankful for.
This time next year, we will have Mia with us and I know that my mom is watching over her until we can bring Mia home.
I hope Mia is somewhere safe, has enough to eat and has someone to give her love on this Christmas day.
Daddy and I love you Mia. We'll be together soon!

Inching just a little closer.....

2008-12-10T19:40:00.002-05:00

As of today, CCAA has matched up to February 23rd 2006. That puts us at 28 log in days before they get to our log in date of 3/24/06. Umm, that seems so close, but I KNOW that it will take CCAA months to get there. *sigh* I wont be to sad though, it is getting closer and closer, that is so exciting!

Hey!

2008-11-23T22:11:00.002-05:00

Just checking in, nothing really new to report. The journey to Mia contiues on, though we expect to receive our referral within 6 months or so. Let the count down begin!!! Seems odd to be so close, after all this time. What really is blowing my mind and makes me more than a little sad, is that Mia has already suffered a huge loss in her life. It has occurred to me, more than once, that for me to become a mom to Mia, is for Mia to lose the most important person in her life. It makes me sad for her, but maybe we can help each other thru it, since I have lost my mom too...

Sad Times Part Deux.....

2008-11-13T20:37:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted in a while, I know. I hope anyone who reads this blog would understand....

Well...my mother passed away on October 31st. The months preceeding that, were spent in daily visits to the hospital, surgeries and praying for a miracle. Then, when the doctors could do no more for her, the days were spent caring for her at home until it was time for her to go...

She passed peacefully and with all seven of her children by her side. Her husband of 42 years, my dad, holding her hand, whispering to her how it was ok to go and how much he loved her, will be forever etched on my heart... I miss her so much...if I could just hold her hand and see her smile..one more time...

My heart aches because I know that she never got the chance to see me bring my daughter home, she wanted that so much...but I vow my daughter will know my mother's smile, will know of the great love she had for her, even though she never go to meet her...

My family is devastated, but we go on. My father is heartbroken, but he takes it one day at a time...I didn't think I would be able to write about this, to express how I am feeling, but if I could make just one person see what a wonderful and wise woman she was, how she lived for her children, the joy she had seeing her grandchildren and great-granchildren be part of her world, well it eases the pain...just a little...

I miss you, mum, more than you could possibly know....

I know I haven't posted in a while.....

2008-09-12T21:43:00.002-04:00

So sorry about that. With getting ready for vacation, going on vacation, being sick, my mom being in the hospital again, well it's been a crazy few weeks.

CCAA match 9 lID days this month, which is good, because 9 days is 9 days. What would really be cool, is if they do the same or more next month.

This journey has gone on so long, with so many ups and downs. It'll be 30 months of waiting on the 24th(my birthday) and I'll be 40. I has so hoped to have Mia home by then. Something about turning 40 and not having her here, I die a little inside. I am SO ready, SO SO ready.

Cut off this month is 01/31/2006

2008-08-12T20:31:00.006-04:00

Ok, well you might be thinking "Hey, that's pretty good!!" and it is...sort of...

See, because of Chinese New Year, there most likely are no famlies logged in between 1/28 and 1/31, so sneaky CCAA!! lol. Well anyway, it's six days ticked off the calendar, so we'll take it. Rich says if they do six days a month, then we'll have our referral in 8 months. I can handle that!!

Sneak preview of the unfinished nursery......

Mesmerizing!

2008-08-08T21:19:00.002-04:00

Stunning, Hauntingly Beautiful, Stirring, Powerful ....I could go on, but these were just some of the thoughts and feelings that were evoked in me during the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing..I have never seen anything like it..China should be proud! What an awesome accomplishment. Yes, China has it's problems and it's human rights issue, but you have to give them their due and their time in the spotlight.

It was bittersweet as well. In the faces of the performers, I saw the face of my future daughter and it moved me to tears. It reasonated deeply in me, that she will grow up in America, but I will make sure she is proud of her heritage, as I will be so proud and honored to be her mother....

*oh and CCAA only did two days worth of LID's this month..bugger...*

Bugger! What a stinker of a referral month....

2008-07-07T15:09:00.003-04:00

CCAA only matched up to 1/25/06, since the 21st and the 22nd were on a weekend, that means they really only did 3 days. Hmmph!

So there's this site called chinaadoptionforecast.com where you can put in your Log in Date and it will give you your "expected" referral date...I put ours in and it said....

Our prediction for LID 2006-03-24
China has 58 days of dossiers to be processed before they get to your dossier. China currently processes about 6 days of dossiers each month.

Our best guess: 2009-05-05

Since China generally sends out referrals in a batch about once per month, your referral date could easily vary +/- one month depending on whether you just get included or just get missed in a particular batch.

Ok, so that is not SO bad, but dang it, any more months like this one and our referral time will start pushing into summer. It will push us over the 3 year mark, ugh!!

You know, I really look forward to the time when I can post without 8&*^(&ing about how many days CCAA has matched, sheesh!

Happy 27 months, (a day late)

2008-06-25T20:29:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was our 27th month of waiting for our referral. Ok, so we think we are about 10 months away from referral. A mere drop in the bucket of time, compared to how long we have waited so far, hah! So that means, we could be in China,by this time next year. Ummm, why after waiting this long, do I feel so unprepared for that, lol.

I think it's pretty official..

2008-06-09T20:18:00.007-04:00

That January 22 '06 is the cut off for this month. 10 days of referrals, well that's not to shabby, but I do not think that it is going to be an ongoing trend. We've seen it before, where CCAA does an increased number of days on month, only to fall back to 3-5 days the next month. Hey, they are closer to our LID date and that is 10 log in dates closer to our Mia!

I have a couple of pictures of the paint color we chose for Mia's room. One is at night, one is during the day. Even though the color is a light Lavender, it doesn't look pink does it? Well anyway, it looks so much prettier in person, I can't wait to start putting it all together. That big hulking think covered with the sheet is the crib. We put it up over two years ago, when we found out what our log in date was, when we "thought" we would be receiving our referral in about 7 to 9 months, hahahaha!

For two of the walls I was thinking of putting these removable wall decals, but I don't want it to look too busy. I have some flower stencils that I bought too.

Ugh!! Why is it so hard for me to make a decision!

January 22nd?

2008-06-07T21:50:00.003-04:00

'06 of course...

That's the rumor about how far CCAA has matched families logged in on with babies. Last month, CCAA got to January 12th, so IF this rumor is true, CCAA will have done 10 days worth of referrals. Terrible? No...Fantastic?...I'll take what I can get. We'll see what Monday brings...That's when referrals are expected to arrive.

We've started painting the nursery. I absolutely LOVE the color, it's a soft shade of Lavender. I am have trouble on getting ideas for decorating. I have no clue on what to do..I am afraid whatever I attempt to do, will look like crap, lol.

Sad Times........

2008-05-13T18:52:00.010-04:00

*Edited 5/23/08; the toll is now closer to 62,664 and *still* expected to climb...unimaginable :( *

I am referring to the recent earthquake in China. Those poor people, families and children, I can't even imagine what they are going thru. Imagine losing everything you hold near and dear, losing family members, in some cases entire families are gone. Schools collapsing on helpless children.....it's all so terrible... the loss of life, the heartache of losing a loved one.

I guess what I want to say, is that everything you have or know to be real, can be taken from you in an instant. So, take the time to tell your family you love them, take time to appreciate and be thankful for all that you have.

Let's talk about January '06

2008-04-30T20:33:00.009-04:00

Rumors are starting to come in saying the cut off is January 12th. Last month the cutoff date was January 9th, so if you are saying that would only mean 3 days worth of LID"s you would be right on the money. Not that this is not terribly discouraging, but considering that the 12 is rumored to be a big LID day, then it is not surprising either.

As the Olympics in Beijing China draw closer, I would expect that we continue to see small batches leading up to the Olympics and possibly see no referrals for the month of August or a very small batch. I am preparing myself now, because China does NOT want to have a huge AI profile during the Olympics and they have been doing a lot in the previous months (at least in our eyes) to keep it looking that way. (i.e. small batches)

On a more positive note, I am going to start on Mia's room this spring. I need to do something, not only to keep me sane, but something to make me feel close to her. I still haven decided on a color for her room. I am thinking a light shade of lavender and doing a stenciled boarder of butterflies and flowers. Starting to get excited about it, whoo hooo!
We have been looking at furniture to put in the room, we already have the crib, so we need a dresser/changing table and a book case. I also want to get a small table and chairs for her to sit and color or whatever.

Well, what are ya gonna do.....

2008-04-05T12:22:00.002-04:00

gotta just roll with the punches sometimes...

Referrals are starting to come in and it appears that the cut-off for this month is January 9th. That means 5 days worth of LID's were matched. The only good thing about it, is that at least it brings me a little closer to referral and I do mean
"a little".

Two years and counting..

2008-03-24T21:14:00.002-04:00

I just realized how tired I am. I mean, I WANT to be excited about how this could our year to get our referral, it also could not be. It's hard to get excited about uncertainty.

Two year....Two YEARS, we have been waiting. Good God, I know it will happen, I KNOW this, but right now, at this moment, I am just tired.

I'll be excited tomorrow......

I feel like......

2008-03-03T19:57:00.004-05:00

Why? you ask...because CCAA has FINALLY finished all of 2005 and now they are into 2006. They sent referrals for families with log in dates of 12/28/05 thru 1/04/06,, Only 78 log in dates till they get to 3/24/06!! We could get our referral anytime between November of this year, thru March of next year.

Is that a light at the end of the tunnel or a train :)

Got a call from our agency today....

2008-02-26T18:55:00.003-05:00

Kim, our referral contact from Great Wall China Adoptions, called to see how we were doing. I said we were doing ok, but last year was really hard for us, with the wait and all. She said, that CCAA has about 120 families a month, withdrawing from the program. Kim said she doesn't know if that will affect "us", since we are so close to referral. Did I really say "close"?? I guess having a year to go, IS getting close in the China adoption world. Hah! She did stress though, that China's IA program is in no threat closing down, so that's a good thing! Kim also said that, she has had a lot of March '06 families withdrawal as well. Knowing that March '06 is a big month, it makes me wonder if that will impact us. Kim did say that we "should" have a referral by the end of the year and travel sometime in early '09. Rich doesn't believe it, but I think only time will tell. I do think that we are closer now, rather than farther away, I could also be delusional.
If what she said, is true, I can only hope this year goes fast!! Heck, it's already the end of February!

Referrals are in for this month.....

2008-02-04T18:33:00.000-05:00

CCAA managed to do 9 days of referrals. While it is an increase, there is nothing to say that it will be the same next month. For the past two years, CCAA has sent in very small batches around Chineses New Years, about 3 days worth. So, while I am pretty happy about the nine days (Ha! never thought I'd say THAT), I know that CCAA can bring the hammer down next month.
I am happy for the families that go referrals, for it means, that some sweet little girl or boy has found their forever family!
Why the picture? I just thought it was pretty!

Phooey!!

2008-01-02T20:20:00.000-05:00

CCAA updated their website, the cutoff IS the 19th. 5 stinky days of LIDS matched...Ugh!

Here is what I think.....

2008-01-01T11:57:00.000-05:00

of the current cut-off rumor for LID's

People are reporting that families with a 12-19-05 LID's are getting referrals, no reports of LID's after that receiving them. Although, there is a someone on the Yahoo China Adoption group that I belong to, that states someone from their agency with a
12-26-05 log in date, received a referral. At this point, there is no official cut-off date, just what adoptive parents are reporting. Rumor Queen has not posted anything yet and the CCAA website has not been updated. If the 19th is true, then that is 5 days of LID's matched, one day less that last month. ICK!

I am just disgusted

2007-12-10T10:24:00.000-05:00

and I am sure that my lack of blogging enthusiasm reflects it. CCAA matched six lousy days this month, SIX!! I don't know what the issue is with them and I really don't care.! It's been over 20 months, 21 to be exact and I am TIRED of waiting, way beyond tired of it. I am done being nice about and I want someone to yell at! Problem is, there is no one to yell at, no one who cares that this wait is unacceptable and will do something about it. We adoptive parents have no power, have no say. We just have to sit here and take it. UGH! Can you tell, not a good day at all!

A Far Away Child Comes Home, The Journey to Mia.

Seriously....

A year "Really?"

The first time ever I saw your face.....

Knock, Knock! Who's there?

Ok, so this is what happens when life catches up with you...

Happy Birthday Mia!!

Happy New Year's

Now playing "The Baby Who Would not Sleep"!!

EWWWW, It's on my thumb!!!

Beijing

Nanchang

Houston, We have Rollover!!

Guangzhou

Four Shots and a Fever....

We got teeth!!!!

Pics of the day...

Update and some pics

A happy Hello and an Apology

The "Big" Day

Ni' Hao from Beijing!

Ni' Hao from Beijing!

Well, this is it folks!!

There was wailing, weeping and a gnashing of teeth...

3 Days.....1 week......A Family....

A VERY WONDERFUL SURPRISE!!!!

really...REALLY?????

2 WEEKS!!!!...

3 WEEKS!!!!!

It's so surreal.....

Hey maybe this thing is going to happen after all!!!

Updated Pictures!!!!

Mia's doing good!!, no pictures though...

Where Mia is...

Talked to the pediatrician about Mia's medical records..

For my husband.......

And so the travel phase begins...

Our beautiful daughter!!!!!

Is Friday THE day??

CCAA is matching.......as reported by RQ....

This is HARD!!

Officially Freaking Out!

Mia's room (hope you like it)

Going to work on finishing Mia's room this weekend....

Holy Moses!! 40 months!!

CCAA sends out referrals up to March 22nd.....

"Preparing to Match" ......

The nothing post....

Referrals are in!

Quickie post before bed....

Another quiet weekend......

Rumors of referals, Oh My!!

Pictures of Mia's Room

If you listen very closely

Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention.....

I feel like I can breathe again.......

*SIGH*............Just heard from my agency...

Long Island Ice Tea Saturday...

A new Day, a new Attitude and good News....

Thanks A LOT Porky!!!!

Survey Say's Yup!

Ladybugs in a bag...

Matching, Matching, Matching and even a cut off date rumor!

Ok, this HAS to be a sign!

Hmmmm, What to talk about??

Well, I'm not gonna lie....

On this date in History.....

Round and Round it goes......

No, your not losing it.....

Well, at least it wasn't one day, lol...

Happy 35 months!!!!

Please send your prayers, positive thoughts or whatever it is that you do, to Deana

"You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away"

The Steelers pluck the Cardinals and March is officially on the board....

Charlie Brown and Lucy and the football...

Totally OT: How 'bout dem Steelers!!!

Those early rumors can be oh so cruel........

Hot off the presses...

Merry New Year!!!!!

I am getting butterflies......

SIGH............Just heard from my agency...